August 7th edition of diets and training

[John]

Good morning all…terrible night of sleep,multiple fucked up dreams,i got up at 0330 tired of fighting demon dreams,drank a 6pk and took more sleeping meds,got up a little but ago,but feel like shit cause of mixing my meds with alcohol,gentlemen dont take this to seriously,but i wouldnt have minded not waking up at all this morning.Gettin tired of life. So no work today,definitely no gym. Gonna isolate today,tomorrow,maybe the day after.Hope everyone has a smooth and productive day.

 

[JLee]

That sucks John and hopefully tonight will be a little easier.

Probably training back tonight. Meals will be eggs, pepper jack on an a English muffin. Chicken meatballs and pasta. Grilled chicken on wraps. The usual yogurt and almonds

 

[John]

Im sure it will be,two nights in a row dont really happen anymore.

 

[John]

Alls i ate so far today,was 7 HB egg white,and 1 peach chobani.

 

[John]

Well call me @Poppy,but im gonna be taking a nap today…

 

[Dirtnasty]

I had shitty sleep Monday then last night was better

 

[Poppy]

Teleworking today because of storm.

Samo grub. Training is iffy

 

[Dirtnasty]

Just ate two qpc with a bottle of coke

 

[Poppy]

qpc

???

 

[Dirtnasty]

I forgot the double part quarter pounder with cheese

 

[WillyCorbet]

Brother I spent 18 months in that darkness. Bottle of vodka in one hand and a pistol in the other.

Alcohol is poison to us. You and I both got demons man, booze just fuels those demons, like Tren for evil spirits. Makes em big and crazy.

Life is worth living. I promise.

 

[WillyCorbet]

First nice morning here in a long time…

4 am Cardio w/ the wife.
6 am Bong hits and coffee.
9 am Flip Tires and throw heavy shit around.

Bagel with cream cheese. 30g protein shake with some yogurt and fruit.

Mobility in the afternoon. If I don’t stretch and work mobility daily I walk like Frankenstein.

 

[John]

Oh yeah,well buddy its not something you can promise me,just cause you say that,doesnt make it reality.

 

[WillyCorbet]

My Dr at the VA has had two patients try to commit suicide. One was a jumper. Jumped. Lived. Second his feet left the edge he regretted it.

2nd story is the same.

One of my best buddies pulled the trigger. Point blank and missed- grazed his head and ear he was so drunk but he missed and decided to start living not sit in darkness thinking about quitting.

Perception is reality. Choose a perception that is a livable reality. That was his take. I had to do the same.

Focus on cowshit smells like shit or focus on cowshit is fertilizer. One stinks. The other grows my food.

I quit the warpath but I’m still a warrior. I forgot that. Got soft. Forgot I had to fight depression and darkness like the enemy they are. You fought enemies- Al Madi, Taliban…. Same here.

Depression is the most dangerous enemy I’ve ever fought. It’s fucking sneaky and when we realize it is a battle for life and death that MFer is already in the wire. At 3:30 am in the dark in your living room there is no one to feed ammo to you. You have to decide if it’s a battle you want to fight or give into.

Can’t promise life is worth living- 100% true. Maybe it’s not. I do know living in darkness is slow suicide. I tried slow and fast suicide. Died twice and medicine brought me back.

I’d rather be alive today and fighting like a warrior than laying down with a bottle and a pistol.

 

[John]

This how i feel about your sermon.
I get these feelings,come and go. However i still tell my daughter EVERYDAY,on pills,off pills,drunk sober, i love her,see her on a regular basis,go to work,tell my whole family i love them…,my POINT being is that I can be in a bad place,while i isolate in my apartment,or go hunting to try to kill something,or go fish by myself…I go on fairly large binges.

 

[WillyCorbet]

Good point.

Everyone has their own way.

 

[rdm]

Hope you feel better brother.