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Dirtnasty this was ment to be pharmaqo cycle

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Only had 4 drinks then toke a few tokes and I was in sleep town we’ll stuffed shells as well
 
Still not gym as my retest came
Back positive still yesterday so probably just wait till Monday and not risk infecting others I guess. Good thing to come out of this shit is I’m findin four whether relationship will actually work long term
 
That was second of three bad news today. First was nephew losing baby. Gf called job Tj talk about return to work and they told her they are eliminating her position so life is going great here. Sometime I think it’s in my head and sometimes it seems that the evidence shows that me being part of peoples life’s some how turns bad for them.
 
I don’t know I’ve likened mysef to a drug. People are drAwn in cause I’m outgoing charismatic but they don’t see where things are going south till it’s too late. She constantly tells me I make her self conscious about her looks and she feels bad about the things I say but she won’t leAve cause of them. Seems like an addiction to me something doesn’t make you happy but you can’t give it up andyways cause your scared how you’ll be with out it.
 
It’s just a real shitty string of coincidences. When it rains it pours kind of deal. None of it is your fault.
 
I feel the same way. But it’s not true. But it is really hard to convince yourself that you don’t have some kind of fucked up gravity around you that drags people down. Even if you can’t help but believe then you need to ignore it like all the other bad shit in the world.
 
Wel don’t worry she told me to leave and broke up with me so been a great two days
 
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So have had horrible headache the past two days thought the vid was coming back around then I remembered I started ment again and haven’t used an ai in abitt it 2 weeks
 
Went to park to day and wAlked in river feel no effects of covid my shitty cardio shape didn’t get worse hope to hit three sets of 5 at 475 on squats tomorrow hate having that break after finally getting back in the. Swing. But my cycle of 350 test ment 1200 eq and 40 of sd for two weeks should get me v
Back on track
 
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