Sitting Here Drinking Coffee Pondering Things

[Poppy]

Up early as usual…4am on Sunday (good grief) had breakfast and sitting here drinking coffee with pup making herself very comfortable in my lap. I’m having a conversation with my trusted adviser about life…my life in particular. I’m pondering my past poor (idiotic) decisions and my current choices…and how they’ll lead to my future.

I just buried another buddy. He was 55yo and a good dude. I wonder how much time I have left on this rock. Every single day I replay events, decisions, actions, outcomes and everything leading up to that and how it’s affecting me today. Some are good, some are great, many are “what the hell was I thinking”.

I guess we all have decisions to make…I don’t blame you 20-40 year olds for not paying us old bastards any rabbit ass mind. I didn’t when I was your age. I listened and it all makes sense now, at the time…it did NOT.

I wonder just how many good years I’m tacking on to my life with the telmisartan, glutathione, trt, diabetes meds, exercise and of course the ever sucky diet. I believe I’m doing the right thing. Time will tell as always.

I’m way past trying to be what I’m not…I’ll never look like @Kad1 @Uglyman101 @Push50 @Neuro @USMCInfantryBrothers @MBTJR1980 @PHD there’s many more I can’t recall at the moment. I am going to be the best ME I can. I remember when we got baby girl at one yo. She hadn’t been to the doc in over 6 months. Way underweight ate up with infections and just in bad shape. We took the doctors advice and a few months later at her checkup the doc told us she’s still “small” but healthy…she’s her own little perfect self…so that’s what I’m shooting for…my own little old perfect self.

Enough rambling…time for more coffee and to get on with the day. Tomorrow is first day of school around here so the house is a buzz with excitement.

 

[Poppy]

 

[Jonny]

I find my self reflecting on life lately as well. We all have key turning points in our lives that ultimately effect us for the rest of our life’s. Like you some of my choices we’re great and some not so much.

When I turned 40 three years ago I was morbidity obese and headed for an early grave like my father who died at 42. I started trt and dieting at 40 and lost 90lbs of fat while putting on maybe 20lbs of muscle. Haven’t looked back as I plan on staying 40 for the rest of my life. Now I just have to be aware of the fact that getting carried away with gear could also put me in the ground lol

 

[Poppy]

Yeah your pops was way too young. Good on you for taking charge of your destiny. I realize there’s some things that are out of our control (health wise) but we can at least mitigate the previous damage or hereditary stuff.

 

[Poppy]

I turned 40 three years ago

For me, getting old is a tough titty to suck on. I don’t like it. My mind is still very active and I want to do the things I just can’t anymore…or at least I can do them at a much slower rate.

 

[Jonny]

I often wonder how much of his death (massive heart attack) could be attributed to genetics and how much was life style. My guess is a little of both. He was 150+ pounds over weight, smoked 2 packs a day, ate like shit and didn’t exercise. His father also died at 49 so like I say it’s really hard to say.

I’m trying to get preventative medical attention in the form of cardiac imaging etc but in Canada they won’t send you for any of these tests without symptoms. I might have to fake chest pain… lol

 

[herrubermensch]

You are a born philosopher, my friend! Take pride in the fact that some people NEVER become as reflective as you are now, leading completely unexamined, unthoughtful lives and wasting their time on this Earth. Everyone does stupid shit and wastes opportunities and gifts. You can’t change the past, so all you can do is learn from it.

I always prided myself about being very clear who I was–good and bad–and not being deluded with self-deception. But the pandemic made me do an even deeper dive in every respect, and it was ugly, but I’m even more honest with myself now. And accepting. And that has made me even more powerful in everything that I do, whether in law practice, racing, marriage, friendship, or athletics. Clarity, candor, courage: Those are the three concepts I strive to instantiate every day. Being clear about who I am, being candid with others about who I am and everything else, and having the courage to do the foregoing.

I guess sometimes it just take 56-60 years or so before you really do figure everything out, but take pride in the fact that you ultimately got there because most people don’t.

 

[anabolic_geek]

Now I just have to be aware of the fact that getting carried away with gear could also put me in the ground lol

Haha that happened to me too. Around the time of my Test is Best cut I realized I was going overboard and got a coach. Best decision I ever made.

Now instead of doing things the broscience way, I’ve graduated to what is being termed a “safer use” model — much milder compounds, longer blasts and longer cruises, lots of bloodwork, Coach to look things over and no futzing with AIs.

I plan on being shredded and jacked to the gills by the time I’m 50 and dying looking like Master Roshi. I’ve spent far too much of my life wasting time shuffling from each flavor of the week (in video games, the latest hottest latest thing), being a loser, and not accomplishing anything. I knew I was smarter than that and now I’m out there proving it every day.

When my mom got cancer and eventually died in her early 50s, I knew it was time for a change for me. Our life in this corner of the multiverse is finite, and I decided I would spend the rest of mine being jacked, excelling in everything that I do and eating lots and lots of pussy.

 

[herrubermensch]

and eating lots and lots of pussy

Here, here! Just about my favorite thing in the world. Doesn’t get any better than that!

 

[John]

Dam @Poppy the hamster wheel was spinning early today,I’m glad I’m not up that early cause my freight-train brain would be chugging full steam like it usually is…and all the poor decisions you’ve made in the past,who gives a shit,I know one decision you made and that was to take care of babygirl and that outweighs the bad ones.Now every day you get up is a blessed one.I tend to let my past define me but in a good way,I can fight to protect my family courtesy of the the Marines,I can live off the land hunt and grow food 100% if needed.Ive made plenty of poor decisions but every day I get up and make a good decision is redeeming myself and I know you do the same.SEMPER FI brother.

 

[Rusty]

Back a couple years ago when I first got on here I was one of reasonable goals. Just wanted to become healthy and in shape. A couple months into my first cycle I saw results fast. With muscles and PRs on heavy lifting. I changed my views and was always comparing myself to the beasts on here and I was open about the fact that I wanted to look like this dude or that brother and @Neuro told me to not worry about the other guys and just be the best me that I can be. Took me a while for that to become reality. Then I was gaining fast on heavy lists until I got my first sciatic injury but I wasn’t gonna let it slow me down @Dirtnasty told me I shouldn’t be doing what I was doing and that heavy lifting is a young man’s game. I disregarded it cause my confidence from the gear had my head in a stupid place. Several injuries later I finally conceded to his advice. Had I listened earlier I could probably still do some of the lifts that the injuries now prevent me from doing. A lot of wise advice on here just gotta listen.

My father has diabetes but eats whatever the hell he wants anyways. He is 74 now and can’t leave the house cause he never took care of himself. He is really fat and really unhealthy. For the past twenty years he hasn’t been able to do the things he wants to do with grand kids and family and such cause he just pretty much gave up and doesn’t care. I don’t want to end up like that. I wanna be 70 and still kicking the soccer ball around with grand kids. And taking them fishing and hunting. I don’t wanna be stuck in the house not able to do shit cause of bad decisions. Everytime I pass a grave yard I think to myself that someday I am gonna be there it’s inevitable. What am I doing with my life and what am I leaving behind!!! Not talking about money and possessions but what example am
I leaving for my loved ones to follow. That is my goal. That is why I quit drinking. Posting my bloods on here for all to see and the advice given with my shitty results in the past has caused me to change a lot of my day to day habits and even culture. Advice from a lot of caring brothers on here helped me to get to where I am now. And also letting go of the idea that I can do these major changes on my own and hiring a coach like @anabolic_geek said. Between those things my latest bloods came back better then I have ever had probably in my entire life. My cholesterol is 127. Triglycerides 106. Shit those numbers are less then half what they use to be. Never in my life did I think that would happen. My kidney enzymes are back to good again. Everything is fine except glucose is a bit high which I am gonna fix with metformin.

Love this place it has made a massive impact on my life in a positive way. I can do dumb shit and be transparent on here and not be judged and not deal with drama but instead get the tough love I need to deal with the dumb decisions. Big thanks to @TG for running a tight ship here and all the mods!!!

 

[Poppy]

You are a born philosopher, my friend!

There are some that would say I’m full of….“philosophy”. Hahaha

 

[MBTJR1980]

Your a special person @Poppy and trust me Ive done everything stupid and wrong in life but it made me who I am today and Im happy with me as a person, husband , and of course Dad to my beautiful 10 year old boy who is my best buddy
Keep kicking ass brother you are fkn AWESOME!

 

[MBTJR1980]

Adorable pic of you and pooch!

 

[anabolic_geek]

Love this place it has made a massive impact on my life in a positive way. I can do dumb shit and be transparent on here and not be judged and not deal with drama but instead get the tough love I need to deal with the dumb decisions. Big thanks to @TG for running a tight ship here and all the mods!!!

That gets a big “huzzah” from me. I was hesitant to come out on this forum and start posting. Tho I was patronizing the sponsors before I started posting, I was not exactly excited to get that kind of attention.

I have a lot of differences with people here and that’s kind of intimidating, to be frank. I like nerdy shit, am neurodivergent, and bi. I’m not one of “the good old boys” and I never will be — I just don’t run with that kind of crowd.

Despite all that, I’ve found this to be a warm and encouraging environment. I feel as though I’ve made a lot of eFriends on here and my opinions are respected because I do a shitload of reading and keep myself as informed as possible. Somehow, against all odds, I’ve found a home here, despite my annoying tendencies.

So I would definitely like to echo @Rusty’s sentiment here. Thanks for making this a great place as well, bro! And of course to @Poppy, @TG and the rest of the gang. :muscle:t2:

 

[John]

Bilingual?

 

[TBU]

The funny thing is as we get older and friends die, life unfortunately becomes more valuable than when you are young. As young men, we look at the next goal for youth. Driving. Drinking. Kids. Then when you have them leave. Have there own kids. You start looking at what’s left. 20 years? 30? The reason is as older men you realize how fast time goes. I wish I too would have looked at it in a different light when younger. But that’s why phrases like youth is fleeting and Father Time stops for no one. The only thing you do now was my life worth it. Did I make a difference. And when we pass will we be missed. If some of these you feel you have not accomplished, spend time making sure that you will be missed. That’s what I have strived for in this journey…

 

[Rusty]

Well said

 

[Rusty]

Well bro to each their own. Judging people is way above my pay grade and anyone else’s as far as I am concerned. It’s a free country. You do you I do me we have a lot of differences but also a lot in common. Which is healthier to focus on?

 

[Poppy]

Perfect!

My nanny (grandma on ma’s side) was a huge influence on everyone in the family. She’s been dead for a couple of decades and we still talk about her all the time. My kids, nieces and nephews always want us to talk about her and we make sure that they will pass on the stories of our legendary nanny.

She is just as you said…was and still is missed and left a permanent positive mark on us.