Jesus Christ, I’ve got to get my fucking head right

[JB_rD81]

My demons… are going to be the end of me. I can’t go to church and confess my sins because in this great age of pandemic we’ve become shut ins… so here it is, I got shit I gotta get off my chest, shit that’s weighing me down, fucking my head up shit that will keep me from passing saint peters gates some day… I’m full of sin and it feels like everything is literally closing in on me, stuff I cannot share with my family, I think it’s why my meds have stopped helping, I can’t stop dwelling on things

 

[Bigmurph6]

I believe that once you get back on your meds you won’t feel great but you will atleast feel better atleast that’s how I see mine.
Nothing will cure all of our craziness im right there with you on sins I pray daily.
Let it out what do you want to talk about?

 

[Dirtnasty]

Woo us power lifters just losing our minds here on ugmuscle you and I will both get thro ufc h our demons one day at time

 

[Bigmurph6]

I believe in both of you

 

[Dirtnasty]

I’ve done it before will do it again I now know there is no such thing as just a little bit of coke on the weekends for me it will always turn to more and more

 

[Bigmurph6]

That’s really everyone it will eventually get everyone no one is immune.

 

[Dirtnasty]

Hey i get to think if I made the gains I did banging out 7 grams a week what will happen when I get back on point

 

[Bigmurph6]

Back on point making gains or the level you were at?
Sorry im a little stupid right now lol

 

[Dirtnasty]

My whole last cycle I was using coke pretty heavy so if I don’t miss gym days and diet is better once clean I’m thinking I should be a monster

 

[Bigmurph6]

Oh yeah definitely because I bet you were cut but the coca makes your metabolism work on overdrive.
Could you even eat?

Plus were here to see you through to the next goal your working to achieve.

 

[Dirtnasty]

I mean I ate well on the days that weren’t after binge but I would always want sugar

 

[Bigmurph6]

Yeah I understand that sucks to be honest you kinda robbed yourself in your last cycle brother.
Take what you learned and implement it in next time around.
Due your pct though and do it the healthy way don’t go from one cycle to another be safe brother.

 

[Dirtnasty]

Last shot was last Thursday just hgh hcg right now.

 

[Bigmurph6]

Thats perfect brother

 

[Cathead]

Every time I take tren, my mind goes into the rabbit hole. I can’t stop thinking of all the stupid crap I’ve done and dwell on it. Does tren do this to anyone else?

 

[JB_rD81]

@Bigmurph, what’s been killing me inside the most here lately is something I haven’t even really thought of since it happened. I can never let my wife or family find out about it, because it wasn’t the first time, and if my wife found out I had repeatedly given into temptation, it would be over. And the fact that my mind is so wrapped around this one instance that happened 5 years ago has got me in a tailspin too. So long story short, temptation kills me, I had given into it before, cheated on my wife and she found out, it was multiple instances over a period of time with one woman. We had our fights about it after my wife found out, we separated for a while, when we got back together things were very distant, and it stayed that way for a while, like 2 years. During that 2 years of distance I gave in to temptation again… at the time it never bothered me, especially after I found out my wife had been with another man, however here the last few weeks since my meds stopped working, I can’t get it out of my head