Top 10 Gym-Douche Moves

[Fred]

Feel free to add/modify/delete as required.

Now presenting: Fred’s Top 10 gym-douche moves (AKA "You might be a gym-dcouhe if…)

10… You are working out in street clothes, especially khakis and wing-tips.
9. You spend all you time trying to talk to me.
8. You spend all your time talking/texting.
7. You never wipe off your fucking nasty nap-juice you left all over the bench.
6. You drop the weight.
5. You make too much noise, grunts, screams, orgasms. Seriously, no one wants to give you the attention you are so obviously craving.
4. Your douche-tooth (bluetooth) speaker is blaring shitty music no one wants to hear.
3. Perving the chix. That just creeps everyone out, including the innocent bystanders that have to cringe while you strike out.
2. You smell bad and all that cologne just makes it worse.
And the Number 1 gym-douche move is…

1. Just sitting on the bench or machine, not using it, probably talking on your phone, while everyone else is waiting on your sorry ass to move on.

Enjoy! Feel free to add to the list!

 

[Poppy]

The last gym I was in was a hardcore pl/oly gym of my buddies bout 5 months ago. Before that it’s been 15 years.

 

[Dirtnasty]

6 and 5 are things that if your at real gym will be expected. If I’m pressing 130 on shoulders it’s safer to dump the weight on the floor made for it than to try and stop the dbs from hitting floor with fatigued muscles

 

[herrubermensch]

No. 1 drives me insane. I just stand by the machine and stare until either the person finally does a set and leaves or I’ll ask to work in with them, in which case they do a set and leave.

 

[herrubermensch]

Completely agree with you @Dirtnasty about 5 and 6. With an arthritic left shoulder, when I’m doing incline DBs and I get to that part of the set when I can either drop the DBs or injure the shoulder by working the DBs down to the ground in a controlled fashion, I drop the fuckers. I’d rather ask forgiveness than permission.

 

[Dirtnasty]

Now that there are multiple squat racks I don’t have issues with people being in way of using equipment. But I used to hate going. Into do squats and Person would be doing ohp with like 5s on bar. I’m not one to tell people there too week jit if your ohp is 55 just do db press instead till you work up some strength and don’t sit in squat rack doing sets for 1 hour

 

[herrubermensch]

Put differently: If people have some basic consideration for others, they won’t hog a squat rack gratuitously for low-weight OHP or straight bar curls!

 

[Dirtnasty]

I mean curls I get haha

 

[JLee]

My gym is a unstaffed 24 hr place. The later you go the more of these people there are doing multiple douchy stuff. Douchebag bingo.

 

[Poppy]

Too many reruns of billy joels uptown girl song

Dudes got talent and hearing that song once every few years on the muzac somewhere is cool but every hour at the gym…I don’t think so

 

[Fred]

It sucks when my headphones run out of juice and I have to hear the muzac. Billy Joel doesn’t cut if for me for lifting, I prefer Slayer. I like my music like my weights: Heavy and Metal.

 

[Fred]

Yeah, number 1 is number 1 for a reason! Everyone hates it and yet it happens all the time.

 

[DarthSocrates]

Ill add some since I can’t stand inconsiderate people and they drive me nuts.

1. Doing your set in front of the dumbbell rack, blocking a whole section.
2. Leaving your shit out for someone else to clean up.
3. Blowdrying your balls with the hairdryers in the gym.
4. Using the machines to pressure point massage yourself. (really saw that).
5. Putting your 30lb dumbbells where it says 100lbs because your too lazy to walk them back to where they go.
   Ok. Rants over.

 

[Dirtnasty]

The one that pisses me off more than anything Is leaving weights on the ground. I would rather a person not rerack a bb than to have them take it off and just leave it on the floor for my big ass to come by and roll an ankle. This happened today and I bounced back no damage cause I learned to crumble before taking the sprain but I got a nice bruise on arm from fall

 

[DarthSocrates]

I can’t understand why people don’t have the mentality that it is a shared space and its ok to pick up after yourself. Just baffles me.

 

[Dirtnasty]

I try and teach the younger kids proper gym etiquette but the adults that do it just piss me off. One day I’ll be on that halo mtrn combo hahah

 

[Fred]

Yeah, I don’t get it either. They think their mom is there to come clean up after them. Some gym-douches won’t even unload their weights: just leave it and walk away from it. Unreal.

 

[Dirtnasty]

Again I’ll take that over putting them on the floor instead of rack

 

[JLee]

DB on the floor really pisses me off too. Another one for the list are the assholes who load up the leg press for there one quarter rep and leave the weight on.

 

[Poppy]

All this is making my non air conditioned home gym priceless.