A little update, I’m exactly one month away from my surgery. Now that the weather is getting cold here, my hip is in more pain than it’s ever been in the last 5 years, so I think I’m making the right decision having it replaced despite only being 39. I’m not sure I could make it another year, especially with my profession being in the skilled trades. I’m off of everything except my anti depressant and testosterone, which I’ve reduced over the last 3 months from 600 mg to 200 mg a week split into 2 shots, however I think that’s a little low as I’m feeling severely lethargic and worthless, like maybe I’ve crashed a little… I’ll probably up myself to 300 a week split into 3 shots to keep my levels a little more consistent. My workouts are as good as can be expected, and my legs are still fairly sizeable, nothing like when I was competing, but def not toothpicks like 90% of the gym bro’s. For a while I was having panic attacks every day over this, all the stupid what ifs, but I guess if it goes well, it goes well, if it doesn’t, then it was supposed to happen that way. I’ve also been thinking a lot about the future, if my hip goes well, I’ve decided I’m at the very least going to do a push pull meet again, possibly full power, even if I have to take a token squat, just to have a bar on my back again and hit parallel will make me feel whole again!
