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Tragic Old Friend Suicide

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I’ve never had someone check out on me without wishing they would have called me first. I always believed I could’ve talked any of them off the ledge. I’ll never know. Sorry for your loss bro.
 
I’ve
Thought of waiting till I seemed happy to everyone then doing it before just as way to show no matter the outside appearance it’s all pain on the inside. I even told friends be more worried when I’m not mentioning depression than when I am. That said I’m feeling pretty good now and the thoughts are
Getting less and
Less for me who knew drug use could be contributing factor
 
I agree with you there I really wish people would focussed on depression. I have saw a lot of very young well spoken nice family seemingly good folk with no reason you you would tell took there life. Had a span at FD Where teenagers were taking there lives during COVID I won’t forget a 17 yr old with nice family, had good life, went to her moms purse and took gun shot herself. I look at my 15 year old wife’s , dads , sisters ,daughter who lives with us because her mom was strung out when she had her didn’t even know she pregnant and had twins m, which one died . And I think to myself that girl isn’t any different than her gave no warning nothing just up and done it. Her older brother passed away from an overdose a few years ago the fentanyl laced heroin and he had just had his daughter two weeks prior to that. I have done everything I can to help her. But society doesn’t care when need help. If it doesn’t affect them they ignore abs when it does they just get mad.
 
The sad truth is nobody really gives a fuck about men’s mental health. We’re just expected to suck it up and walk it off. And if you do seek help there’s this awful stigma that it shows weakness, when in reality it’s a lot harder to ask for help than not too. Some shit really needs to change.
 
Biggest problem with how we handle depression is pills solve everything. Don’t get me wrong some pills really help take the edge off. But it’s a bandaid when we need surgery. Also a lot of shitty therapist that have more issues then we do. And like you said it seems like no one cares. Not enough love out there. No one wants to love a druggie or hooker or homeless. It’s so much easier to love a poor child or a puppy dog at a shelter. But if you haven’t been there you don’t understand that no one makes the decision to be a heroin addict it just takes you slowly until bam one day your sticking a needle in your arm. But that is someone’s son or daughter or brother or sister. Hell when I was in jail last time I heard these two drug dealers joking about how they put heroin in chicks food to get them started then they use them for sex in exchange for drugs. I wanted to beat them so bad!!!
 
“When people put themselves before the lord “ if you look around people are getting so selfish for there own needs they are ignorant Of others. Only when it affects them is it then important. Good people are hard to find these days and even harder to hear. They have been made fun of,persecuted , everything in between, or just keep to themselves. Wether you call it “revelations “or the “end of times or “rangnarok”. It has happened and will happen again. World we live in is cyclical and the future has already been written we just a squirrel living in the works trying to get a nut.
 
Some places it is I can remember being told those exact words for years. It shows weakness and is as a man cannot allow that. I think it is harder to ask for help than to keep it bottled up. But opening up about emotions is about as explosive as holding it in till you go off on someone. It’s better than it was or should I say more socially excepted due to de- masculinity in today’s world. The right thing for the wrong reasons isn’t necessarily a good thing.
 
I believe God has a plan. We cannot alter it whatsoever. But we can make a choice to be a part of it or not.
 
You not saying you can’t alter your own life right. Cause if so that would make no sense. Like your not saying that I would have always abused coke no matter what choices I made
 
That’s not really how it works. we are not perfect people we sin. it’s a choice however you make it out to be. You choose to or not to do something. it’s a choice if I decided to bury my face in a hookers ass full of coke still a choice. You will be what your supposed to be. The We are gentiles not his chosen people but he gave his son so that we get the same deal. How we get on religion anywho it’s a sensitive subject. If you get down to belief. That’s just what it is, it’s what you believe. And that my friend is also a choice. “Greatest lie devil ever made people believe, is that he doesn’t exist”
 
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I don’t believe in any religion being right I’m
More of energy itself is the higher power. As I’ve said religions are like sports teams the one you root for is likely based on region your born and who your parents pull for. I will never believe that anything is mapped out and their is a plan. Cause if gods plan is to give innocent kids cancer fuck that higher being
 
I’m pretty sympathetic to Dirt’s view of God here. We would criticize as morally reprehensible any person who had to power to save a little girl from death, but chose not do so. Why is God exempt from that moral analysis? I could go on, but I won’t. Needless to say, I’m a fervent atheist.
 
Im not atheist as I do not know I think whatever it is is beyond our comprehension. But it won’t stop man from continuing to try and keep updating with with new shit to worship haha. Religions are mostly ways to explain what we can’t and to cope with death. It all gets ugly when people use them to push agendas and controls others. I actualy believe man for the most part is good and in a sense of religion would stil have morals
 
What I am saying is we have free will to do whatever we want. But I do not believe we have the power to alter Gods ultimate plan. It’s only that we have a choice to be a part of His plan or not. And BTW Jesus never forced anyone to believe in Him and He loves everyone regardless of their beliefs so I choose to do the same. I love the non believers as well as the believer. I do not judge anyone. That is way beyond my pay grade!
 
I agree with you that religion has been tainted by mans touch. It has been manipulated and changed to suit the needs. But if you peel them dang old layers away the all have the same message. We are not perfect there is as you put it a higher power. We cannot comprehend that power and have the free will to fuck it up for ourselves if given the opportunity. And that is in our nature… human nature, sin, choice whatever anyone calls it. Look through history at the amount of slaughtered people lay at the feet of religion. Yet most religions teach love for all people. Don’t believe any religions maker went around killing folk for personal gain. All the little religions are stemming from three major ones if I remember correctly and those three a single one that came before the rest in like 2000BC. Any one guess which one it was?
polytheistic, pantheistic and [monotheistic] the three types. Atheism is really a modern belief
Sorry my grandfather was a preacher and I spent a-lot of time in his study. Just don’t remember a lot of it.
Hinduism came before the rest. Before that we worshipped animals circle of Life stuff. Hanukah Mattatta
 
Yeah see lots of shitty stuff for sure
 
I consider myself spiritual not religious. I talk to some higher person whoever that may be. I’m catholic but don’t practice. A Marine buddy that is a pastor explained that too me. We were talking one day and I was giving my person and that’s what he said I was spiritual. Who knows? I just try and treat people nicely as long as they treat me that way, help people when I can and ask for help when I need it. Always a work in progress
 
Do Unto others as you would have them do unto you. I stop and help people all time some are thankful some think I’m after money which I never accept. I smile either way and always tell them to pay it forward to someone who needs help. I hope if my wife and child were in need someone would help them. People tell me all time when I do side jobs I don’t charge them enough or do ask them about paying. I just tell them what you can afford or whatever you think it was worth. Most pay some don’t but it always comes back to me 2 fold. My wife gets mad at me cause I will help everyone to the point I can’t help myself. But there was a time when I needed help and people helped me even when it seemed a lost cause.
 
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