Wanted to drop a line about those things. As men of the western civilization, we are taught to mask/hide/ignore anything that could be construed as “weak” I for one was the guy that always said “I’m ok. I have no issues” but the shithole we cram everything in eventually fills up. As we get older, it becomes harder and harder to keep it all under control and the pressure pushes all that shit out like a Potato ricer. (If you know what I mean) I realized that even I who thought it was “just a phase” I was going through until those really dark thoughts creeped in. Was I good enough in life? Did I do the right things? Was it worth it to continue on? It happens to the best of us. For years I fought the “chemical” mind numbing or so I thought it was, I took the steps to better myself for my kids/wife/friends. It was a profound impact on me. I wake not feeling the weight of thought and what if’s. I can still feel sorrow or sadness now without crippling me. I have a great doctor who listened to my concerns and helped me along my way. Now that I’m dialed in so you speak, my next journey is counseling. For years I fought that too, but I am finally ready to accept the fact I need someone to talk to outside my group of brothers. The long and short of this post is, never feel like you cannot be helped. The best thing about improvement is knowing when to ask for help. Just like BB or powerlifting, when you struggle, you search out the best to be your best. Mental health is no different. It’s not always a chemical thing to right your ship, but the willingness to reach out to the best to be the best. No matter how bad it is in your head, it can always be worse. Like I’ve said to my brothers when they say life sucks. “At least no one is shooting at you or trying to blow you up!” Ask questions. Get help. Don’t be 58 and just finding out that there’s more to life than what you know. Sometimes I wish I had asked sooner. But hey, it is what it is and everyday is a new day. L&R to you all and thank you for listening. 
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