EdwardChase
Well-known member
I’m interested to hear your responses. Everyone has a reason. Be honest though. No one is here to be judged. Only heard.
My motivation - my story
I remember when I was a kid I always wanted to be a wrestler. The fake stuff you see on TV. I was always the shortest and skinniest in my classes at school growing up. I saw all those huge guys on TV and I thought, well if I want to look like them and make it in that industry, I needed to start working out. I remember when I first started that I didn’t have a gym membership… or weights to use. Instead, I got a brick out of my Dads garden, I cleaned it off and worked out in my room with it. My workout was 2 sets of 50 push-ups, 2 sets of 50 sit-ups and 2 sets of 50 bicep curls on each arm. I worked out every night when I should have been in bed. I did this nearly every day. I’ll never forget the day (about a year after I started working out) I went to swim in a local creek with some of my friends and a group of girls. Everyone commented on how good I looked without a shirt on. It was the best feeling ever. I over heard one of my friend’s at the time bragging to a girl about how I worked out with a brick… I’m not going to lie, I liked the positive feedback. It gave me a sense of importance and value.
I was talking to my Dad about my goals of being a wrestler and I was told that most of the guys in the wrestling business were on steroids and that was how they got so big (probably not the best thing to tell your child, but it was honest and realistic so I appreciated it). I knew right there and then, at 13 years old, that I wanted to start using steroids when I turned 18… I followed through with this vision. I began researching steroids when I turned 18 and then commenced my first cycle just a couple of months before my 19th birthday.
After a couple of years I realised that I didn’t want to be a wrestler anymore. However, I continued to workout and take steroids regardless.
Several years went by when all of a sudden I found myself strickened with a serious life threatening illness. It resulted in me losing most of my gains. Initially it upset me. Ever since that day as a kid where I was complimented by all my mates and all the girls that were with us, I subconsciously felt as though the thing that made me special or superior to others (because we all like to feel like we’re superior in one way or another) was my amazing physique. I always prided myself on it. At the time, my self perceived value depended largely on my physique.
In hindsight, I have discovered that I thought very low of myself and it has made me realise that my primary motivation for wanting a good body was because I was insecure in myself. My body was like a second job. Once I lost my gains I was finally able focus on other things. I’m actually happier now than I’ve ever been and I’m the smallest I’ve ever been. I find it quite difficult to workout now because I’m no longer insecure in myself. I actually like myself for who I am and I don’t need a good body to be convinced that I have value. It is a tremendously freeing feeling.
So insecurity was always my motivation.
What’s yours?
My motivation - my story
I remember when I was a kid I always wanted to be a wrestler. The fake stuff you see on TV. I was always the shortest and skinniest in my classes at school growing up. I saw all those huge guys on TV and I thought, well if I want to look like them and make it in that industry, I needed to start working out. I remember when I first started that I didn’t have a gym membership… or weights to use. Instead, I got a brick out of my Dads garden, I cleaned it off and worked out in my room with it. My workout was 2 sets of 50 push-ups, 2 sets of 50 sit-ups and 2 sets of 50 bicep curls on each arm. I worked out every night when I should have been in bed. I did this nearly every day. I’ll never forget the day (about a year after I started working out) I went to swim in a local creek with some of my friends and a group of girls. Everyone commented on how good I looked without a shirt on. It was the best feeling ever. I over heard one of my friend’s at the time bragging to a girl about how I worked out with a brick… I’m not going to lie, I liked the positive feedback. It gave me a sense of importance and value.
I was talking to my Dad about my goals of being a wrestler and I was told that most of the guys in the wrestling business were on steroids and that was how they got so big (probably not the best thing to tell your child, but it was honest and realistic so I appreciated it). I knew right there and then, at 13 years old, that I wanted to start using steroids when I turned 18… I followed through with this vision. I began researching steroids when I turned 18 and then commenced my first cycle just a couple of months before my 19th birthday.
After a couple of years I realised that I didn’t want to be a wrestler anymore. However, I continued to workout and take steroids regardless.
Several years went by when all of a sudden I found myself strickened with a serious life threatening illness. It resulted in me losing most of my gains. Initially it upset me. Ever since that day as a kid where I was complimented by all my mates and all the girls that were with us, I subconsciously felt as though the thing that made me special or superior to others (because we all like to feel like we’re superior in one way or another) was my amazing physique. I always prided myself on it. At the time, my self perceived value depended largely on my physique.
In hindsight, I have discovered that I thought very low of myself and it has made me realise that my primary motivation for wanting a good body was because I was insecure in myself. My body was like a second job. Once I lost my gains I was finally able focus on other things. I’m actually happier now than I’ve ever been and I’m the smallest I’ve ever been. I find it quite difficult to workout now because I’m no longer insecure in myself. I actually like myself for who I am and I don’t need a good body to be convinced that I have value. It is a tremendously freeing feeling.
So insecurity was always my motivation.
What’s yours?
