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Dirtnasty this was ment to be pharmaqo cycle

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@Mossy1985 and @Dmomuchole

I actually always reccomend to everyone to goto a meeting and they help but honestly I couldn’t do group meetings either and I figured out that was a problem for me so I have to do the one on one and I still hate that because I don’t like talking about my weaknesses with anyone that’s why I will support and try to help anyone either meetings which are free as @Dmomuchole mentioned but like if you suffer from anxiety which I don’t believe because most people who suffer from anxiety can’t use uppers.
You can definitely be different @Dirtnasty but if you need anything hit me up anytime brother.
I don’t judge anyone and I will always help someone in your situation.
 
I’ve dealt with this mentally for years. I deleted the tor browser off computer. Also made my dad set up my account that if I want to use he has to put password in. He isn’t worth a damn for accountability but I can put shot into place to stop me from making purchases going forward.
 
I can’t tell and you can’t ask but I want to help but the src doesn’t want to be a sponsor at ugmuscle so its a difficult situation if you check our sponsors I believe 1 does carry it in there gigantic selection.

Also thank you so much for following the rules I appreciate it more than you know and I will figure out a way to help you
 
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The best thing about this site is people don’t judge. It’s why I felt comfortable putting that I relapsed. It came not long after got in arguments where my dad said this was the best place for me being with family. I told him he doesn’t feel like family just a financial backer really. It’s almost like I had to prove that he wasn’t up to the task.
 
Im actually confused I wasn’t there so maybe im misunderstanding.
Your best place would probably be with family but I don’t know your family situation so that might not be true.
If your dad financially backs you honestly brother you should be thankful.
Am I misunderstanding something?
 
I have no family. My place would be back home in cincy with people that actually care about me and would hold me accountable. Not liver bh with a person that is a an enabler.
 
I understand so your dad enables you
That means that he does care about you but he honestly has no idea how to deal with this situation. You and him should go to an alanon meeting. I believe that it would help him alot which would also help you out.
He probably feels helpless
 
We all have to own our own mistakes unless he gave you the blow you can’t really blame it on him.
Please don’t get upset im just trying to give it to you straight brother it sounds like you blame him and I can understand that because I blamed my dad also and I realized no matter what happened in the past that it was my fault and I needed to realize I made shitty choices. That was me though and everyone is different
 
I didn’t blame home for me using I blamed him for not stepping in when he saw I had the drugs. If o wanted to I could od’d and he wouldn’t have done a damn thing to stop it. Only just to say we’ll talk in the morning there would have been no morning if
I wanted that. I guess I wanted that parental guidance I never got growing up. It’s not like he didn’t have two kids in his household his whole life in my step brothers.
 
Also my biggest issue with any help groups in my area are going to push the god aspect and I’m not a believer. I’m as agnostic as they come.
 
There’s alot more going on then I can help solve but I know if you get involved in getting help that you will get it and no one in meetings is pushing a religious god. Just tell them your higher power is squats and other leg work lol

I wish you the best brother keep your head up
 
Great thing in NA they accept people that are atheist and your higher power can be a doorknob as long as it’s something greater then you and your disease. I was desperate and maybe you don’t feel loved cause I know what that feels like, you got to love yourself enough to stop getting high. Any self help group like NA AA Al-Anon are programs based on practicing spiritual principles. I stopped getting high because I didn’t want my kids to grow up with out a father like I did. Your father obviously cares about you but maybe not at or in the capacity that you need and he may never live up to your expectations but hey he’s human just like us and susceptible to being imperfect. I’m going to shoot it to you straight as well bcz this shit is life or death here I’ve lost some close friends to ods, if your not willing to try anything new then nothing will change. It takes a lot of courage to put your shit out there but YOU got to do something about it.

I care about you brother. I’m not pushing this I’m only sharing my experience and these are suggestions not advise bcz in no way someone that should be giving advice lol
 
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