Dirts 2g of test test log

[Dirtnasty]

I’m able to funtion even when really fucked up

 

[Poppy]

As stated already…you recognize that you have a problem. That’s huge. You recognize that you need to drill down to the root of it.

Those are big steps

 

[Poppy]

I got no words of wisdom for all this.

Everyone is different and has different triggers.

I do know that just using a little every so often doesn’t work in the long run. For me…complete abstinence was the only way.

For me the urges did subside. Me and wifey talk about it every so often. But end up having a cup of coffee at 6pm for our wildness.

 

[Rusty]

I remember the days of going to work after a all night or two day bender on coke or crack. Man I hated it. It was probably the worst thing I can remember is tweaking while talking to people and working.

 

[Poppy]

Can you imagine talking to someone just like your old self on the job now.

 

[Poppy]

I can recognize it a mile away now. I know a few closet alcoholics and/or crackheads. If they’re close enough buddy wise, I’ll confront them and kindly suggest options.

 

[Rusty]

I know when I see someone who shows up tweaked out. It’s obvious. They are very anxious and can’t ever be still. Guys who drink on job site think they can hide it with gum and or cologne but can always smell the alcohol above it. It is something we cannot hide.

I would slap my old self if I was talking to him lol.

 

[Dirtnasty]

Not sure how many could tell but I’ve let coworkers know to be able to look out for it in future

 

[Poppy]

Probably more than you think.

 

[Rusty]

How you doing? Better I hope

 

[Dirtnasty]

I don’t know if they are being nice
But nobody said they thought I was high. Then again most my work is alone in rooms mixing Rawls

 

[Dirtnasty]

Yeah still feel I’m behind on sleep but I’m off Monday Tuesday work Wednesday theoff till Monday. I should be good to go. If I go to meet I go if not I’m not going to stress it there’s always another one in the future

 

[Poppy]

Your coworkers were probably being polite.

Get yourself straight brother. The world needs you. You might not know it yet, you’re still young and (could) have a lot of time left on this rock…apparently, you keep trying to kill your self with poison and you’re still here for a reason that will eventually reveal itself.

 

[Poppy]

You have a purpose

 

[Dirtnasty]

Going to pin gc tne with morning injects and see how the weight is feeling on my back. Will be first test for heather i do meet. Just go up to some 500 singles. Second test will be where I’m at mentally if I’m still an emotional mess I’m not driving by myself to meet and sitting in hotel room alone all weekend for it. I have to be in better place for that.

 

[Rusty]

I agree with @Poppy What day is your meet brother?

 

[Dirtnasty]

Saturday. Got to see where I’m at mentally

 

[Dirtnasty]

I’m 90%sure I’m not doing meet

 

[Poppy]

Might be best. That stuff is dangerous. I’m sure you’ve already signed a waiver, if not then you will at the meet.

If you’re head isn’t in it then pull up…don’t land.

 

[Thunder]

But end up having a cup of coffee at 6pm for our wildness.

Party animal