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Dirts tren harder than last time log

I need to get my leg drive better I go to all hams it seems me knees need to lock same time as hips lock in perfect world
 
I believe that so much brotha that when you tweak your technique, just a hair, that you’ll find that your 50-70 pounds stronger on this lift than you think you are
 
Got ti work today late with out my badge either feel out at gym one of the past two days or somewhere in room. But supervisor left work early himself so I may get lucking and him put my time in as full day. Feeling super fatigued. Having some issues arise from my autoimmune issues. Good news is without the drug use it doesn’t seem the depression is hitting like it would previously when a flair uo would happen
 
Woo Rafael Brandao requested to follow me on Instagram only he changed his name to Logan and is from la now. Love fake profiles
 
Bar feels heavy today today wasn’t my day lack of sleep today I feel is major factor 635 went about half as fast as 675 last week just don back and hope for better lifts next week
 
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So inused guys deadlift bar at end of workout and 600 was easy as shit. So I just needed warmed up and some nurlling
 
Todays workout
Dead’s no to set cuase no deload last week
Bent rows 3x6-365
Lat pull down 3x8-240
Crocs in crocs 3x12-125 highest weight we got so this movement isn’t really going to be used going forward juat go back to meadows but I wanted to the grip work s bit
Iso low rows leaned not seated 3x8-3pps
Machine rows upper back 3x12-220
Not best workout felt better as I got going food was just sitting in stomach. So I think my Abomb’s didn’t kick in till late and now I’m at work feeling great.
If I can’t sleep today when I get off I’ll know it was trensomnia today. But mentally I feel better than I have when I get flare ups from what ever my issue is

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Can see stomach is pressed out and one of the sores i be gotten on body
 
Need to talk my self into buying texas squat bar. I’ll do two days of ot next week and cover the cost but for the sack of my forearms and shoulders it’s necessary
 
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Well I’m od the thought have everything you need done
Cycle on hand when your start. I kind of broke that rule when I started this one. But I ordered what I needed a month and half before start time so figured I’d be good. Well here we are 2 months from ordering my xtane with none in hand I broke
Down and place order else where. So I wouldn’t get stuck. Two days after placing order my shot finally shows in America. Looks like some
High test runs in the future as I can let all that extra xtane go to waste haha
 
I wish I was younger again like you. If I had this back in my early thirties I can’t even imagine. Back then I was repping 315 on bench I could dead 450 but my grip wasn’t strong enough to do more all natural. But now that I’m using gear I’m to old to move heavy weight my hip and shoulders just won’t let me. I live vicariously through you bro. My journey is strictly hypertrophy nowadays. Anyways. Am back to first shift again but now I can’t sleep at night. Sucks having to adjust. But my time in the gym will be back to normal so I will feel better. I get depressed when I cannot work out
 
We all have different paths in life who knows if I would have stayed in gym and got into powerlifting right after football i May have put up some good numbers. Or maybe I would have just gotten to where I’ll get now. I try not to look back and think what could have been anymore that’s how I get in dark places. I can only change my future not my past
 
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