Dirts 2g of test test log

[JLee]

A therapist might not be a bad idea. Just someone to talk to if you didn’t want to do it here especially if meds don’t help. Being single always hurts for awhile but if you can hold together for a little bit it will get better.

 

[Dirtnasty]

I lathe resltionship oart doesn’t affect it. I litterellt feel pain all over right now. I’m just going to shut cycle down and maybe still compete

 

[Rusty]

Are you cycling something different than you’ve done before?? Are there compounds that make you happy. Like just test or test NPP??

 

[Dirtnasty]

Happiness isn’t part of my life except for small periods here in there but general just feeli bf happy doesn’t happen

 

[Dirtnasty]

And it’s not the cycle I get this way this time of year every year. If you remember last year this is when I. Went off deep end back on coke not going that route. This year

 

[Dirtnasty]

Just got news ne of my old supervisors passed away assuming complications from alcoholism. He was actually one of the people that made a night impact on my life I saw his troubles and thought I don’t want to be like that in my 50’s. Going to try and hit gym poat work
Today whether Im feeling it or not got to hit dead’s this week

 

[Poppy]

Hold strong brother.

 

[Dirtnasty]

So I think I’m going to drop the sd first only had 4 mores days of taking it anyways. I made a post on fb and it seemed yo help me feel a bit better. Depression is. Weird beast. I don’t tell people this but them telling me they love me and care blah blah blah doesn’t do a damn thing for me. I know all this shit already. I know all things considered I love a pretty good life. It’s just sometimes my brain feels th e need to get in loop of suicidal thoughts anyways and dive into sadness. What am I sad about. Nothing I’m just sad. It sucks while it’s happening and I just have to make it through to other side and then it’s back to only passing thoughts of suicide daily that’s easy to brush off and usually those are
Just we could do that

 

[Poppy]

Well said

 

[Dirtnasty]

Getting ready for dead’s

 

[Poppy]

Grip it n rip it

 

[JLee]

Alright! Let’s get after it

 

[Rusty]

I have no idea what your going through. Hope the best for you. Just hit the gym and get it brother!!!

 

[Dirtnasty]

That’s tre thing unless you experience it you can’t understand.

 

[Dirtnasty]

Think I fixed my deads I was trying to get perfect form before lift when I switched yo no straps. I’m best when I go to bar grip drop and then pop up not a true dive bomb but similar

 

[Rusty]

So you do better without straps? I get perfect form doing dead pauses. I’ll use about 60% max and focus on form and then pause just below the knees for 5 second then half way above knees pause 5 seconds then erect straighten anything out of place then on the down side I pause at same places for 5 seconds each and really focus on a baseball back and high and tight shoulders I never set it down just like Romanians and try and get five or fail once I loose form. This also has helped me increase my max tremendously in the past.

 

[Dirtnasty]

Oh no bsing think there is difference in what I can pull straps or no straps now. Maybe get 10 more with straps

 

[PNWmuscle]

You’re gonna need a bigger barbell soon bud!

 

[Dirtnasty]

I can 9 plates on there if need be doubt I ever pull that much

 

[Dirtnasty]

Pwo breakfast Sando two reeces big cups 50 mg of Abomb inject with my test ment and eq doingvench today hope for 470 for twowith pause