Introduction to the site!

[Xpliot]

Man I honestly think you’re kinda just freaking yourself out and worrying a little. And trying to get a quick fix. And I really understand. I had the same thing for over a year being told I was just depressed but come to find out. A year later my test was 290. But you know what. I still got up everyday and hit the gym. And I still fought my mind every day going to work even tho all I wanted was for someone to fucking t bone me so it would be over… I really do understand. I also think you played a game and lost because you didn’t fully understand the consequences to your actions when you started pinning. And that’s fine. I think the last thing you should do is pin more test unless you want to be on trt for life. And idk your financial situation. But if your 24 I’m sure you don’t want to pay 200 a month for it. I think you should listen to these guys. If there’s one thing I’ve learned everyone on here is looking out for your best interest. That’s what’s so amazing about this community. You have to think about the end game not just the quick fix right now. There’s consequences to everything we do. And at the end of the day your the one who has to go to sleep with yours and wake up to them. What we do is a commitment it isn’t just an up and quit type thing. You played a game with your body and now you have to decide what you want. Personally your young and I think you should listen and pct. your test may not go back to where it was idk but I do know trt is I big thing. You don’t just get to pin a drug for the rest of your life and have no consequences

 

[Poppy]

How are you testing your T levels so often?

 

[anabolic_geek]

Dude I don’t think T is your problem. In all seriousness, I think you need to see a mental health professional. What you have going on sounds like severe depression.

 

[Dirtnasty]

As a person with depression being on gear for just makes me feel
Like a really sad god sometimes. Like physically unbreakable but mentally can’t do shit. I do know that for some getting t up helps but mine is much deeper. I was fucked even when I had great t numbers

 

[Thunder]

Brother I think pro level bodybuilders do cycles that long but would never admit it…
Js

 

[Dirtnasty]

They do mostly now. But that is also their livelihood. In fact they may have 8-12 weeks a year of not being on more than cruise. I know the ME guys are on high amounts of test or eq in different doses year round.

 

[Xpliot]

Yeah that’s got to be bad tho running even a small cycle of 500 that long tho right??

 

[JLee]

So when I came off 16 week test/ Decca last winter my test was mid 400. When I started this cycle in the summer it was back up 800. But that was 20 weeks between cyles. It takes time and your frame of mind at the moment doesn’t seem to be helping

 

[NeuroRN]

They do… and that’s their job… and guys like Reagan grimes are getting blood work, echo, renal ultrasounds done every 12 weeks. Which is responsible and practicing harm reduction. Just Bc ppl do it, doesn’t make it reasonable or the best option.

 

[Dirtnasty]

It’s all in the bloods. I think the idea now is longer cycles not going as high in doses as long as bloods say your fine continue. These guys are also always looking for what ever that makes it a hit healthier supplement wise

 

[Xpliot]

Yeah that’s wild. But also that’s def their job and lively hood. Plus they have a lot of stuff at there disposal

 

[Poppy]

Exactly… just like at a big plant where folks are in contact with heavy metals for a living… monitored very closely for health markers.

 

[TBU]

Yep. It’s like 3 tests in a span of… 24 hours? I think this cat need a full blown panel. Not just test. It’s all over the place. I have a feeling it’s someone we might know?

 

[Dirtnasty]

Hmmm

 

[Ominous]

Welcome

 

[Lilice24]

Hey guys thanks for all the comments. I know i tend to freak out a bit but if you understood how bad it gets its not healthy i have a suicide hotline card in my wallet at all times because of how bad it is. The reason i get blood work a lot is because my doc is worried about my test levels flucuating up and down. Recently went in again today after some testing and she expects my thyroid is out of function as she tested my TSH and it was fairly low which she indicates i have to much thyroid hormone in my body which can be due to a variety of things. She does not know about my previous AAS use but she says sometimes your body’s immune system is always under attack that it starts to attack your thyroid as a result or it could be due to excess iodine in the body which i have never took and usually stay away from. She will be doing more testing to look into it. She did say it is extremely bad if it is hyperthyroid as this can contribute to extreme panic and anxiety attacks. What i assume it might have come from was the Beligas testosterone as everytime i injected it made me very very ill like i said to the point of not getting out of bed. This is my only theory as to why it got like this. If this is the case i wish i woulda known beligas is this bad of a brand and no one should ever use them “ever”. You guys are all more than welcome to give insight i appreciate it all. Again i apologize if i am freaking out its pretty hard not too tbh when i have been dealing with this for months and havent got better even a little bit and everyday seems darker and darker. Thank you all

 

[PNWmuscle]

Have you been to a doctor? I think there’s more at play here. I feel like when guys start AAS, they think everything good or bad in their life is related to it. Sometimes life happens and it has nothing to do with AAS or test levels at all. You could just be depressed.

 

[NeuroRN]

Look man. We’re happy help anyway we can. To be honest, we’re going around in a circle. We’ve given you options. You seem to only want to hop back on.

You keep saying your levels aren’t coming back up NO MATTER WHAT and all you’ve done is inject “test” to try to bring your levels back up… which In reality is only hurting your natural production.

We’ve told you to pct again. Or find a trt clinic. Or get different test.

We understand it’s bad. You feel bad. You’re depressed. Make a choice given the options you have, and take action.

You also need to be honest with your physician. It affects her plan of action. It affects everything. You’re hurting yourself by not being honest.

You sound clinically depressed. I agree with @anabolic_geek i think you need to seek some mental health counseling or help, along with your physician. Hormones will absolutely mess with your mental health.

 

[Lilice24]

No i am not saying i am going to hop back on i am simply asking for input and what you guys feel that is it. I highly doubt its clinical depression as i hVe never ever since ive been alive suffered any type of depression or anxiety in any form until steroid use. I have been to about 4 doctors at this point. My doc believes it has to do with thyroid but she was worried as to why my test levels never want to get passed 500. Again i have no history of depression or anxiety, not even one panic attack in my life i was always a person to handle it. I have a hard time believing its clinical depression. I understood my use with AAS and its negative effects before i jumped on. I believe at this point it may have been this fake or bad solution of beligas that caused a lot of this and i will go ahead and let my doc know of it as well. Just very weird to me how when i first started test i never once got sick after injection , until this new beligas vial. At this point i am just trying to do whats best for my healthy which is why i am saying my doc so often to finally pin point what it is. I do believe some of the depression can be due to low test levels as i stated i am down to 360 at this point. I have apologized for this whole thing , i was just looking for some guidance thats all.

 

[anabolic_geek]

360 is in range my guy. And your brain don’t give a fuck if you’ve never been depressed before — it’s clear you are now. When certain chems in your brain down regulate, this is what happens. The only way to fix it is to wait it out or correct the chemical imbalance.

My advice: Stop stressing about your T and let the doctors do their jobs. It takes time though. You’ll need to be patient. Panic posting on here isn’t going to get you anywhere.

In my honest estimation you need a mental health pro and probably some meds to treat this. At the very least it couldn’t hurt while your medical docs do their thing.