Get where I want or die trying Banned comeback

[SpencerCortez]

Fuck yes!

Brother I don’t sleep much right now either. 4 hours straight feels like a miracle. Makes training really tough some days but using sleep meds- OTC shit I mean- just leaves me groggy and I wake up half the time anyhow.

I trust my body will self regulate when it’s time. Try to think on all the extra time you have that people who sleep 10 hours don’t have. Read, meditate, stretch…. This will pass.

 

[Dirtnasty]

Haha

 

[Bigmurph6]

My problem with not sleeping is it kills my mental health.

I’ve been using marijuana to eat and it helps me fall asleep but my stomach wakes me up and its a rough time once I wake up I wasn’t even going to get on today because today is a really bad day.

Im definitely pushing forward but I need to wait until August 25 but im getting worried that covid is going to mess up the appt and ive been waiting 8 months for this appointment smh

Things will get better eventually though

 

[SpencerCortez]

Our worst days are when we need people the most. When I want to isolate I shouldn’t. Training the mind is like training the body.

“I don’t want to squat…blah blah” then I do and I feel good.

I want to shut the world out and then I call a friend, leave the house, jump on here and I feel better. Re-programming.

Glad you were up as early as I was!

 

[Bigmurph6]

So was I brother good talking to you I feel better than I did earlier I appreciate that

 

[SpencerCortez]

Same here!

 

[Bigmurph6]

LOG

SLEEP 5hrs

EAT chicken breast chopped added 2 tortillas

TRAIN am going to stop trying to train with weights im going to go with bodyweight movements and cardio. Im going to work on maintaining mass I have while losing weight so when I start my next cycle I will be lean and just pack on mass with primo and nandrolone

DHEA 100mg

Im having a really bad night and morning I might not even be around today.

Im feeling a little better going to do cardio and train

 

[Unique]

Love you man keep going just know you inspire others and me to get through hard times. You can do this brother I know you can be blessed love you Murph

 

[Bigmurph6]

I really appreciate that brother im trying to maintain and get better I will definitely be back at it hopefully soon right now I think that its best I don’t try to hit it hard and just keep moving and maintaining once im better im going to kick ass and forget about the names lol

 

[Unique]

That’s what it is all about brother you got this don’t let anything get in your way or stop you. That is what I am doing right now body weight n cardio n adding some weights sometimes. Feel stronger and active we do this for ourselves not for others, you will be at 200% in no time.

Been struggling mentally but using it as motivation can’t let this kill our day anymore. You got this brother

 

[Bigmurph6]

I do just alot of anxiety about my appt coming up

 

[Unique]

What happened what’s the appointment about. That shuts me down overthinking will be the death of me. Imagine we already got to this point in our lives so we shouldn’t worry but it is hard brother it’s very hard with anxiety

 

[Unique]

If you don’t mind me asking sorry if it’s personal I apologize

 

[Bigmurph6]

No problem its my mental health appointment I’ve been waiting 8 months im still unmedicated

If this appt doesn’t go well its all over for me but im optimistic just been a really hard 8 months

 

[Unique]

I’m sorry you’re going through that I don’t know why the hell these psychs do this shit when people need help the same shits been happening to me and I’m sick of it and apparently a lot of people go through finding the right doctor. I don’t know what it is brother but I hope it goes extremely well for you I will pray for you

 

[Bigmurph6]

I remember talking to you about this happening with you also I’ve been unmedicated for 8 months its completely crazy that there allowed to torture me I vot a lawyer because it was needed or I would have never gotten help I appreciate you saying that and I hope that it just goes well all I need is psych meds im not asking for oxy or something controlled SMH

 

[Dirtnasty]

And they say the ones needing meds are the crazy ones. If uou were a kid that “needs” amphetamines they’d hook you up in quickness. Hate the whole fucking industry ok neuros cool but just about the whole medical industry try

 

[Bigmurph6]

Its seriously fucked up man I mean just write the prescription don’t make me wait 8 months to get help. I haven’t done anything this year or last I don’t ever even go out I need to get things right and I need to start eating and sleeping again this year was just as bad as last year

 

[Unique]

I hate it man I know exactly what you are going through they think everybody wants a script for some fucking controlled substance, I still haven’t found a right psych because of this crap. I don’t know why it’s like that I know some people are like that but not everyone is. It’s frustrating being I medicated for so long has consequences. Hang in there I’m right with you I just had an episode last week really bad I’m just now recovering brother

Things have to get better…

 

[Bigmurph6]

Them boys were here 3 days ago and a week before that 2wks earlier they were holding me its been a really rough month im trying my best though even them boys are understanding