My brother! I too have fell into this rut of reality. Our country is leaning in the wrong direction. Our kids are being indoctrinated into a system that is so far removed from our identity as a country. We’ve been lied to by the people that are supposed to keep us informed. I could go on and on.
Along with years of relationship disappointment and trusting those that should not have been, I have become anhedonic. In addition to two back surgeries, malignant melanoma, and now prostate problems I don’t give a shit if I die in my sleep or not. Being a trusting and giving person is the worse type of life to live. My mom is the only brightness I have in an otherwise cruel hoax of a life. Nothing gives me pleasure. I’m not excited to do anything. I go to the gym and that’s about it.
Anyway….you’re not alone! I wish you the best and know that with the support you have on this forum, not one single member is going to allow you to fail. Or even come close. Prayers big man!